Tuesday 1:17pm 21st July 2026
Today is the busiest of the week, thank you university schedule. 10am till 6pm I guess I can be greatful that the day doesn't start earlier, and i get to sleep in. Went to sleep at 1 in the morning, delaying the inevitable I guess, I was staying back at my own flat and not my boyfriends meaning I could doom scroll for as long as my heart desired. More like however long it took until I stopped freaking out thinking the girls I hang out with at uni, don't actually like me.
Making friends is hard and I have to remind myself that I shouldn't give up at the first sign of, I don't really have a word for it, not trouble, apprehension?? Yeah emotions and feelings are hard. It's just that it'd nice to have friends outside of my boyfriend and the friends he made.
I made that mistake before. Speaking of that, in the past few days I have been finding out that my prior 2 and a nearly half year relationship, was not as healthy as I thought. While I definitely think that the people I was talking to are getting my crude retelling of what those 2 years were like. There is definitely some base claims they are correct about. So that's always a fun one.
Rn I am in math class writing this. Because holy crud is it boring. Later I am going to write stuff for my ttrpg character. Right now that is one of the only thing getting me through the day.
11:09 am Tuesday 4th of August.
Currently waiting in the library for my next lecture. I was trying to find some music to put on my Instagram note, instead I got flashbanged by memories. The singer was cameron winters. And it took me back to when I was living in my home town, there I was sitting in the passenger seat of my ex boyfriends shitty levin car. I got this weird feeling in my chest because, its not like I miss it, or him. Its just that it took me back to that time and it just felt...odd. Because that was two years of my life, and then I moved and things, changed... all my doing of course so no one else to blame except myself. Doesn't stop the heart from aching a little bit, not for the person but the memories and the photos.
It doesn't help that I am going home for December. I think I will just avoid the actual town and stay hanging out at the beach. Get some reading and sunbathing in. Pretty sure my mum needs me to help clear out the property, so that'll keep me busy.
But I'm just glad that I'm not still with the guy that said mitski sounds bad, while hes out listening to cameron winters and geese, saying that they are lyrical geniuses.
Go suck one you dick rider.
yes this page is bland. I will fix it soon
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